the NEGLECTED who WASN'T

After this weekend and a day after, another month will be officially over. Time flew fast by me, but for a short period of time, i've learned a gazillion things and i know i've made a better being of myself. I've kept myself hidden beneath the shadows of my imperfections that, i, myself cannot escape. I've lived my whole life thinking of my flaws, that i have over-looked my better side. But just when i thought that my life was senseless and that i was another background character, i saw the faces of the masses i've long ignored. With just a blink of my blind eyes, i saw the grinning faces of my friends whom i've made laughing with a simple phrase that has come out of my mouth unplanned.


The next day i skipped school to buy my school uniform and some books. That afternoon, as i walked myself to the rooms of another school family, they gave me an approach i did not quite expect. Most of them asked where i was, why i wasn't present, where i have been and so on. And the next day, i wore my PE uniform with much excitement. Until later that day, the teacher announced that PE uniforms were compulsory. I was surprised with their reactions and what some of them said. It came up to me that they were blaming me because they thought that if not for me, the whole batch would have agreed on not buying the set and that they could've still begged the principal's decision. And because of all that commotion (plus abnormalon pa jud tawn ko..kai pebrero, saputon usahay) i cried . Not vulgarly in front of them of course, i'm not aiming for attention. I made the mixed emotions out of my system by wetting up my face with tears in the comfort rooms. But then i had to stop and go back for the class. I tried to hide, but they noticed. And they asked and i saw concern in their faces and expressions, that they would hit whoever has done wrong to me. On that same time i felt rejected, i did feel IMPORTANT . Because with the three years of being in the same school with 60 plus same batch mates, i never thought i meant something to them. And now, though there's no ample proof, i trust they do love me!:D and i hope they all know how much they mean to me:).

to all my friends in swu:
i love all of you guys! and that is not about to change. I will never forget how each one of you gave your shares as being a part of my life. you made me feel special and i hope i'm making you feel the same way, too. for our last year together as classmates, let's make the best of our days!!! yahoooooo!!!
i lalab you all!! (tight hugs and kisses!)
bilib jud ko ninyu kai mga WARYORS jud mo!!LONG LEEEEEB!!!!!hahahahahaha

===punja

'FRANK'

Early this week, the weather was blazing hot! People's sweat flowed on their faces as i walked by them. And i could feel the intense heat they felt, as i too, was in the middle of the crisis. As the days went by, the wind grew colder and little droplets fell slowly every minute. A little more time passed and the droplets fell harder and it rained hard. This time, i had the chance to wear our jackets and sweaters which were kept hanging for a long time now.


Yesterday, my attention was caught by the commotion happening on the stairway to the third floor (where our room is at); classes were suspended that afternoon. But before i could leave, we were called by the CAT officers for an urgent meeting. Together with the 9th graders, i went in the room where everyone else was at. Officers announced that the 9th graders were to join our year level in the CAT presentation, and it was compulsory. And after that almost-an-hour meeting, i went with Marrah, Kaye and Joanna to go buy plain white shirts for the CAT the next day. I ran home and they waited at a store nearby. We went to Sacred Heart Hospital first because Marrah wanted an X-ray of her ankle (to excuse her from CAT) but the school physician wasn't around so we went to Gaisano or whatever it was (i don't really know Colon that good). We bought really cheap shirts there, a plain shirt for 79.75 bucks! But if i was to choose, i'd rather buy from Ukay2..hahahaha. We joked around the mall, together with Marrah's cousins, we made pranks on other people, like (it's hard to explain..hahaha..we are the only ones who can understand ourselves.. because it's like, we have our own world when we're together..hahaha) so anyhoo, we planned to go to CIT to visit some folks but there came 'FRANK', the typhoon 'who' ruinned our plans; my plans. So we went home.


TODAY, I woke up 4 in the morning and slept again and woke up at 5 and tried sleeping again and finally i stood up at 5:50 phew! I was that excited. I took a bath with a freezing cold bucket of water. Then i did little C.A.T. actions (whatever they call it) in front of the mirror and made my mom laugh again. I really like making my mom and pa laugh. :D I am actually not gonna do any of those actions in the actual CAT presentation because i am assigned "medic" due to my medical conditions (the stainless steel on my left shoulder, dude, and it sucks!) But i'll try to be less useless though..i SWEAR! Then i called Marrah telling her to get ready. And so i walked myself to school. But before i could walk through the school gates, the guard denied my entrance. It is all because of 'FRANK'!!! ***sigh:(


The excitement i felt was not just because i wanted to do C.A.T., i felt like i was after something or maybe someone,either way, i really can't tell. Last night, i drew a really good picture of somebody. But i'm not sure who it was. It was a guy with a hood-jacket on and just some plain guy. Maybe it was someone who came out from my want of meeting someone (not specifically a guy) who can meet my standards, maybe 'standards' ain't the right word; it's more of expectations. I'm not looking for something or someone to complete me; for i know with GOD alone, i am COMPLETE! I just pray that He will always guide me and my family in all that we go through!AMEN!!!!!

another school day to stand..

SCHOOL!
I woke up with a heavy heart today. It seems like i've stolen something from someone; i felt guilty. But i tried my very best to hide that hideous feeling of guilt inside me. And i started this day with a prayer:) .

Today was just an ordinary day, full of memories for me to keep as this is the last year of my high school life. Classes weren't that serious because there are no schedules yet, though some teachers have started some review lessons, most of the time we were busy talking and blah blah! It was 8 in the morning, Chevey and i were talking about some gay guys until she pointed to the door near me, i saw a kid with curly hair, tight-fitting jeans, belt bag and a black shirt worn not halfway down but just up to his neck with a white undershirt, and Chevey said in a loud voice, "hala si Totol!". He was another transferee, though an old elementary student, he was as coy as someone who has been in home school since birth! It was weird that he was THAT shy even if he knew most of us who used to be his classmates before and who graduated elementary with him. But i can't really judge him with just that. And then he came in the room from the back door. They teased him to me. They always do that with almost everybody new. Maybe b'coz i don't get mad easily. But i'm fine with that.:D

Later today, i sat with Jo-ane and Jessa. Just like everybody else in the room, we talked and laughed and joked around:p . And then we noticed that 'kid' again. So we thought of talking to him, but Jessa ended up talking to him instead. She went near him and said..

jessa: hi..asa diay ka gikan?
kid: sa among balay..
jessa: di ba..asa nga skul?
kid: sa iskwelahan..
jessa: hehe..di ba asa nga skul ba?
kid: sa iskwelahan..

(we were laughing then)
and then the kid stood up walking straight to the door and as he was walking, he raised his hand making the sign : TALK TO THE HAND!..and we were awed!
and when Jo-ane and i looked back to Jessa, she had changed her smiling face into a dismayed one! YEAH! It really was rude for him to do that. Maybe he doesn't know what that meant..maybe he didn't know how bad it was and how hurt Jessa was..

But later, as the bell rang 4, we were told to go down to the oval for the CAT. woohooo! And down we marched. We were divided to groups of different numbers. I was with Keesha and Jessa; and we were under Sido. He was a good commander and he wasn't that strict. And then after a couple of minutes, i felt a soring sensation on my left shoulder, where my stainless steel is at. Then a few more minutes later, i heard a cracking sound! haha..it really hurts! But i really stood the pain though. And tomorrow, i'll try to bring my papa to the office, so that i'd have exceptions and be considered; or maybe become the medic. At least there'll be less 'tuntunkanan naaaaaaa!!' for me..haha

Another school day tomorrow..oh, i remembered,tomorrow, we're gonna continue the explanation on the first subject in the morning for our drawings in Filipino! And i'm gonna be last, i don't wanna be saved by the bell coz i don't want to keep my nervous feeling for long.

so that's all for now;
PUNJA

first week of SCHOOL babeeeh!!!

The night before the first day of school didn't feel that exciting, unlike others who might haven't sleep coz of the longing to see their classmates and all. But then the excitement got into my veins when i saw Marrah and Claire approaching me, and we went together to school. I wore shorts and my pink southern-rock long sleeves with red-white striped undershirt. And we were so late that no one was in the lobby anymore. Then we saw everyone else in the 2nd room (they weren't sectioned yet) . They were like "punja!!!" hahahaha..and then i saw the new student sitting near the door but his face wasn't new to me. I've seen him before coz his sister's the ex-girlfriend of somebody i know. And later that day, we were divided into two sections...but unluckily (sadly), Marrah and i were separated through those thick white walls; we were in different rooms. We tried to swap sections but the principal said "NO!". But it's okay, i still had fun with my other classmates (sabay lng gud!).

The next day, two more transferee students came. One was Shayne in our section and the other was JM at peacock's. Shayne introduced herself and she mentioned that she likes singing, so as a typical pinoy attitude of asking for samples, she was forced to sing. But she sang good anyway. They made me sing too(bugal-bugal ba!). hahaha...yeah i sang but it was all a big JOKE!hahaha

Anyways, we had our homeroom-officers election this morning. Chevey was elected mayor! YEY! my seatmate!hahaha ..and Tambulort (kenji) was nominated in all the officer ranks..(he nominated himself). That chubby "brad" of mine always has something to say, though non-sense, they have humor!hahaha..and i was nominated as "prince charming" hahaha..(intawn!) but i was elected as MMO (matud pang aljo 'Most Mongoloid Officer') HAHA!!!

And then we had a mass and had no classes in the afternoon.
I hope i can get better grades this year:D
AJA!

That's all for now.
-elle

strummin...

..STRINGS..

yeah, i'm gonna talk stuff about the guitar and how i fell in love with this instrument:p

i first imagined myself holding a guitar on-stage and singing when i saw Hayley (paramore) play live, NOT. haha..it was as early as when i was 5 and i saw my sister play it like some pro (for me) but this urge got stronger when i saw Hayley years later. I felt like there's a need for me to learn how to play strings. It's not like i wanna become like her (have a band and all that). It's just that that time i was in search for who i was and what i am going to be (puberty stage..haha) and when i saw her i said in my mind, "someday, i'll discover myself, see who i am and what i really want..music" and it wasn't because she was cool or anything, i just saw her become who she managed herself to be and i really really want myself to have what most people lack, uniqueness and originality.


But later, i realized that everyone is unique, one way or another. Though most kids today look like clones (no offense:D), God made each one of us different from one another. And i know that i am different, you are different, even twins are different. I once thought that if i learn how to play the guitar maybe i'd stand out but no, i was wrong. Playing is not about standing out or becoming a better being, it was my desire to play it and to sing along with the tunes i make.

I first learned to put my fingers on those dots and non-hand-friendly strings when i asked my sisters to teach me, i was already 14 (guwang na!). Then i learned songs but i still can't do it good enough and then i stopped because my hands really hurt bad and my mind was like "this looks easy but why can't i do it?". And then months later i missed holding that piece of wood so i tried playing again. That time i felt comfortable with it, though it still hurts a bit. And then my sister, Tzie went to Switzerland with Aries and nobody else had the time to teach me. So i tried to learn on my own but later on, i got tired and stopped.

This summer, my sister and i stayed in the same room. If we were at home, we had to be on that room for the whole day and it would be awkward if we just stared at each other so yeah, we talk and surf the net and sing, and laugh, and play MAIDS..ako amo xa maid..haha..athek lng. She enrolled into summer classes while i stayed inside the room for like two months and i only had the chance to go out if i had to buy something or if we went to church. IT WAS BORING!!! So i spent my days browsing bla blahs, writing stuff,having strict diet (tsar) and nothing else. Until their classes were over and she had the time to teach me how to play the guitar,YAY! i still had one month to spend my summer in something relevant so i have made two songs now, though they're not good, i'm still proud that i've done something other than sleeping and eating.

I don't play the guitar well, i can't even play hard-to-play songs but i'm still trying to learn how to play a song without chords, just listening to it. My siblings make me jealous:(, coz they all play well. (pero ok lang..mada pag cheese burger)

Now, classes are gonna start after two days, and i really wanna share my songs. Like, i wanna see the impressions on their faces, whether they like it or not. But i don't really wanna show off coz there's nothing to boast anyway..haha..

I hope the first day of school's going to be A-OKAY! OLRAYT! ayus ba bords..hahaha


-elle-